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Want to play G‑d? It’s simple, says the Talmud—and it’s a mitzvah, too: just visit the sick. 

G‑d visited Abraham when he was sick. 

So when you visit the sick, you’re praying G‑d. 

In Hebrew, the game’s called bikkur cholim. 

Here are the rules:

No frowns, no tears, no gloomy faces. None of that is going to heal anybody. 

Your job is to provide a little smile, some hope, and maybe even a few laughs. 

Learn a few good lines, like, “What’s a spring chicken like you doing in a place like this?” 

Or, “How’s the room service in this place?” Extra points for every smile you elicit.

Extra points for every smile you elicit

Of course, you have to know when you’re overstaying your welcome. 

At that point, tell the patient the Chassidic adage, 

“Think good and things will be good”—

And quietly slip out.

Your presence itself is therapeutic, but the patient has other needs too. 

Find out how you can be of help. Grocery shopping? A ride to the doctor? 

Or maybe the house needs some tidying? 

Time your visit with care. If the patient is in middle of a medical procedure.

Or in the immediate aftermath of one.

It is likely that he or she won’t be in the mood for visitors.

Sometimes the situation doesn’t allow for visits. 

You can still do bikkur cholim by visiting the family. Offering a helping hand. 

And . . .

The patient’s room is a holy place. 

While there, say a short prayer for a speedy recovery. 

Such as, “May G‑d care for you amongst all the patients of Israel.” 

Or, on Shabbat, “On Shabbat it is forbidden to plead. But healing is soon to come.

When you leave, say a psalm or other prayer.

It is traditional to ask a holy person to pray for the patient. 

To send a prayer request to the Rebbe’s resting place. 

 Walking down the street, you find something. An iPod, a wallet, a lost cat. 

Finders keepers? Or should you leave it and walk on? Neither.

“Do not see your brother’s ox or sheep straying and ignore them; return them . . .” (Deuteronomy 22:1)

Does it have a name on it? Or any distinctive feature?

The iPod can be identified based on the songs stored on it. 

Or even the serial number (if the owner is really organized). 

And the wallet’s owner can probably be traced through its contents.

Post signs on bulletin boards. 

Announce the find in local synagogues.

So take it home and try to locate its owner. 

Post signs on bulletin boards; announce the find in local synagogues. 

Don’t give any specifics. 

Just say that you found a watch, not the color or name brand. 

If someone identifies it, you return it.

As long as the object is in your possession, keep it safe. 

Put jewelry in a safe, fold clothing and put it away. 

Keep the bicycle in a dry garage. 

And it’s not yours to use! 

Use it only if necessary for the object’s maintenance. 

So drive that motorcycle around the block every few weeks to keep the motor healthy.

But no joyrides.

• “Finders keepers” applies to generic items that have no identifiable features.
• Examples: a $10 bill floating in the wind. 
• A pen, a bag of chips if presumably the owner despaired of retrieving the object
• Before you came across it.
• You can’t do one mitzvah by transgressing another one.
•  So don’t pick up that wallet on Shabbat.
• Items that are virtually worthless need not be returned.

Help your fellow before he loses his property. 

If you see your fellow’s property in danger. Save it. If a flood is coming, lay down sandbags. 

If the wind is about to knock a branch onto her car, ring her bell and tell her to move it.
 

 Which crime is worse, financial exploitation or verbal abuse? 

"Money can be reimbursed," the Talmud notes, 

"but the hurt from words is irreplaceable.

Money is a person's property. 

But words hurt the person himself.

"Whether it's due to circumstance or nature some people. 

Are more emotionally vulnerable than others. 

The Torah repeatedly tells us to watch our words with the widow, the orphan and the immigrant. 

Men are enjoined to speak sensitively to their wives.

 "The gates of prayer are sometimes closed," we are warned, "but never the gates of tears.

"Whether due to circumstance or nature.

Some people are more emotionally vulnerable than others.

Here are a few prototypes of verbal exploitation:

• Name Calling: "Hey Train tracks! Can you pick up Radio China with that mouth gear?"
• Chiding: "Cheer up, buddy! It's all for the good. 
• Must be that you did some sins that this suffering is now expunging!"
• Past Digging: "Look, Mary, a picture of you before the acne treatment!"
• Wasting My Time: Joe asks Bill for help in his business. 
• And Bill sends him on a wild goose chase.
• Purposely providing useless internet links.
• Defunct phone numbers and connections that won't get him anywhere. 
• Bill says he meant well, but he knows the truth.
• A more subtle example: Wayne walks into a store with great customer service.
• And juices the salesperson for all the information.
• He needs while trying all the samples. 
• Then, once he's determined the best deal 
• He buys it at half-price online.
• Public Embarrassment: "It's your fault, Johnny, if you didn't prepare. 
• You're going to stand up there and make the presentation anyways."

"Better for a man to cast himself into a fiery furnace." 

The Talmud says, "than to shame his fellow in public." Publicly embarrassing someone.

We are told, is not just breaking his bones–it's cold-blooded murder. 

If you have an issue with someone, deal with it privately. 

Be open and try to work out a resolution. 

Whenever possible, just forgive and forget and get on with life. 

"What am I supposed to say?"

Consoling a mourner is one of those challenging situations that we would all rather avoid.

But it's an act of kindness and a great mitzvah, especially during the shiva week.

The prescribed week of mourning that follows the funeral of a next of kin. 

And it's not really so difficult: What's really needed most is the fact that you are there.

How-to: Visit as often as your company will be appreciated and beneficial.

Visit as often as your company will be appreciated and beneficial. 

A traditional shiva house has prayer services every morning and evening.

When kaddish is recited by the mourners.

And a minyan [quorum of ten] is required. 

Your attendance at these services will certainly be appreciated. 

Have a seat next to the mourners. Allow them to speak first. 

Allow them to steer the conversation in whatever direction they wish. 

If they feel like crying, cry along; if you perceive that they want a break from crying. 

Talk about the weather. All the while, look out for cues that you've sat long enough.

When that happens, stand up and say: 

"May G‑d console you, together with all mourners of Zion and Jerusalem." 

Then quietly take your leave. More Details:

• Consider the somber atmosphere. Avoid greetings, welcomes and farewells.
• There's no need to bring anything along; it's your presence that comforts and consoles. 
• If you do wish to bring something, think useful.
• Something like a kosher meal for the mourners.
• We don't say to a mourner, "What can you do? You can't change the way the world works." Once a life has perished, it is time to accept the Divine decree with love.
• Traditionally, we don't make shiva visits on Shabbat.
• Sometimes consoling words aren't enough. 
• Was the deceased the family's breadwinner? 
• Start a fund for the family.

You shall not go around as a gossipmonger—Leviticus

Evil gossip kills three: the one who says it, the one who listens, and the subject of the gossip—Talmud

So you know something that Mr. A has done. 

Non-incriminating, not even objectionable. 

Unless you have a compelling reason.

You are forbidden to share this information. 

Repeating innocuous gossip is called rechilut—and often causes unforeseen negative consequences.

Speaking about another’s indiscretion or shortcoming is even worse. 

This is called lashon hara (the evil tongue). 

Unfounded libelous gossip (motzi shemra) is even worse.

Someone trying to sell you some juicy information? 

Politely excuse yourself, or change the subject.

Words carry the potential of causing catastrophic harm. 

Often tearing asunder families and friendships. 

Thankfully, lashon hara awareness has increased in past decades. 

Largely influenced by the passionate writings.

Of the Chafetz Chaim (Rabbi Israel Meir Kagan) on the topic.

1. It is also forbidden to listen to lashon hara. 
2. Someone trying to sell you some juicy information? 
3. Politely excuse yourself, or change the subject. 
4. Better yet, explain why you are not interested in listening.
5. Sometimes, even a “compliment” can have a negative connotation. 
6. Example: “My neighbor is a great chef! 
7. The aroma of barbecued steak wafts into my yard every night!”. 
8. Is this also a veiled critique of a spendthrift lifestyle?
9. “Oh, don’t ask; I’d rather not talk about Mark . . .” Lashon hara wasn’t said.
10. But it was implied!

Note: We are obligated to notify a person of another’s conspiracy against him. 

We are also required to share information with any person. 

In a position to help the offending person. 

For example, you certainly should inform parents.

If their child is hanging out with the wrong crowd.

Exerting self-control over our speech is admirable. 

Even greater is the ability to truly respect and love every person. 

Automatically eradicating the negative and losing the desire. 

To share bad information about them. 

The destructive power of negative speech.

Is surpassed only by the beneficial power of positive speech. 

Praising and speaking positively about our fellows.

Benefits ourselves, the person being praised and all of society.